Working mom + breastfeeding mom = mom under pressure

The day Tisoy turned 12 weeks old I had to go back to work. I love my work, I enjoy what I have been doing for the past 5 years and now I enjoy thinking about other things than the color and texture of baby poop. At the same time, I miss being with my baby. Until that day we have never been separated for more than 2 hours, now it's 9 hours a day, 4 days of the week. Luckily I have enough leave days left to take Fridays off. 

I'm exclusively breastfeeding him, and that's where the pressure comes in. I thought I was under pressure meeting a certain deadline for a project? That's nothing compared to trying to keep Tisoy well fed. I wake up at 5:30 am. Sometimes Tisoy wakes me up earlier, which is good cause then I know I have enough time to feed him twice before heading off to work at 7:30. If he's not yet awake, the pressure starts already. Will he eat enough in the next two hours so that his Lola won't have to start feeding him the expressed milk only minutes after I leave and risk running out towards the end of the day?

At work the pressure continues: I have to express a certain amount of milk to get Tisoy through the day the next day. If I don't express enough, I'll risk running out of milk for Tisoy the next day. I don't have enough milk to build up stocks unfortunately. In addition, the stocks I built up when I was still at home, were all spoilt because our freezer doesn't freeze properly. So, it's an on-demand business. 

Leaving work, the pressure goes on: I hope traffic will be reasonable so that I won't get home too late to find the boy crying for food. After some playtime with Tisoy, dinner, preparing the pump for the night and other chores, I pass out at 9:00pm, to wake up at midnight and 3:00am to pump more milk for the next day. If I'm lucky, Tisoy wakes up to be fed around the same time. If I'm unlucky, he wakes up in between, and I get little sleep that night.

I could make my life easier and just formula-feed him. But somehow I don't trust highly processed powered cow's milk with additives and ingredients that I don't even fully understand. Besides, Tisoy is still incompatible to cow milk protein.

The good news is that this will only continue for a few weeks. In mid-December I'll already start my leave. Shortly after, Tisoy will probably start eating his first solids, and become less dependent on my milk supply. 

My current contract ends at the end of the year. Then a new type of pressure starts: Finding a reasonably paying baby-compatible job, preferably in Cebu.

Six days alone with Tisoy

To be honest, I was not completely alone, my partner's dad was here in the early morning and at night, and he even prepared meals for me, so I got lucky and didn't have to heat the canned soups and stews I had bought in anticipation of not having any time to cook a fresh meal.

I enjoyed playtimes with TIsoy and discovered new skills in him. He is saying his first repeated sound, which is "ö" - he definitely is German :) He coos and laughs a lot when I play with him. He is trying to crawl but not getting anywhere and figured out how to move sideways when lying on his back.

Playtime

Still it was a challenge. The first day, everything went smoothly. Tisoy had a morning and afternoon nap of 2 hours each, and I took advantage of those 4 hours to get things done around the house and I even started a sewing project. I was in good spirits that those 6 days would be a breeze.

On days 2-6 Tisoy was not so cooperative though. He wanted to be carried all the time. He was happy and content in my arms but when I put him down, no matter how deeply asleep he was, within 20 minutes at most (more often after 10 minutes) he was crying to be picked up again. So doing anything other than carrying him around the house was a challenge, including taking a bath, feeding the cats or running a quick errand. 

On day 3 I ran out of load for my cellphone. All I had to do was go to the nearest shop and buy load, a matter of 10 minutes normally. That trip turned into a 2-hour endeavor. First, Tisoy was so cranky to begin with that I couldn't even think of going out, then he finally slept and I wanted to take advantage to clean the bathroom and postponed my trip, then he was cranky again and started screaming when I put him in the carrier. After two hours finally, I went to the shop, bought load and got back to the house. 

It took me 3 days to finish my sewing project that I had started on day 1, and it was only a small project that normally would have taken 2-3 hours.

On day 5 I baked a cake to surprise my partner when he got home. It took all day. 

The cake that took all day to bake to welcome Daddy back home

When I did another "quick" run to the shop to buy internet load on day 4 (quick means, another 2-hour attempt of getting out of the house), the salesgirl asked me why I don't have a yaya. Good question, that I'm asking myself now as well: Why don't I have a yaya? Why am I making my life harder than necessary? I want to get one next time I'm alone with Tisoy for more than one day.

Another aspect of why I'm so exhausted after these six days is the additional lack of sleep. Tisoy is exclusively breastfed, and he feeds every 3 hours for 1-1 1/2 hours including burping, diaper change, and entertainment program (which he sometimes wants in the middle of the night). I pump in the mornings and when daddy is home, he feeds him the expressed milk in a bottle at 11pm while I go to sleep early. This gives me around 5 hours of straight sleep before Tisoy wakes me for his 2am meal. Now I don't get that break and have no chance to catch up on sleep during the day.

I'm happy my partner is back. First thing I did was I slept half the afternoon. My partner failed in trying to wake me up as I had asked him to since we still wanted to go grocery shopping. I was totally passed out. And I am usually a light sleeper. 

My respect and admiration goes out to all those single moms who have to go through this every day without the prospect of having their partner come home after a few days. You are amazing!

On a different note: Happy birthday, Tisoy, you are two months old today!

Happy 2 months birthday, Tisoy!

6 weeks old and growing, growing growing

This week Tisoy is 6 weeks old and he has officially outgrown his first onesie. It was the first one he ever wore and only 6 weeks ago its was waaaaaay too big for him. He was still wearing it last week.

Which meant, we could go shopping again for the next sizes. Actually, I didn't go anywhere but indulged in online-shopping (and thankfully my partner went to pick up the stuff). This is the result of our shopping spree:

And all that for only Php300 - I love online shopping in the Philippines!

Happy 1st month birthday, Tisoy!

It seems like yesterday that I held him in my arms for the first time. Yet it has been one month already - time flies.

I'm 1 month old - and balding

Tisoy is healthy and growing, it's a joy to see a little bit of development in him every day, and I'm excited for the months to come.

Currently his favorite activity (next to sucking) is being carried around by mom or dad.

Tisoy loves his carriers

Tisoy's First Major Trip

It is time to leave Manila and go home to Cebu. This was Tisoy's first big journey and we were excited to find out how it would go. 

Packed and ready to go home

We decided to take the boat to Cebu for several reasons: One, we had so much luggage we would pay a fortune on excess. Two, we wanted to spare Tisoy from the ear pressure experience (at least for now) and three, I had never taken the boat from Manila to Cebu and wanted it to experience myself. 

We had booked a stateroom at the 2Go Ferry and it turned out, it was the best decision we could have made. The room was big and comfortable (at least as big as, if not bigger than, the condo unit we had stayed at in Manila), we had our own bathroom, and even the food was included. Even though a stateroom is the most expensive accommodation on a boat, it was good value (and still a lot cheaper than taking the plane.)

our spacious room

I even have my personal breastfeeding lounge

A lovely towel arrangement

So we spent 24 relatively uneventful hours on the boat. We enjoyed the movies in our cabin (well, not all movies shown were that enjoyable and I still don't understand how one can show horror movies in the afternoons in public places where lots of small children are around. The evening movie was Forrest Gump though which I hadn't seen in ages and we really enjoyed.

We took Tisoy for a walk along the deck and we listened to the on-board videoke competition, which Tisoy slept through completely. The noisier it is, the deeper is his sleep, so it seems. And we went to the restaurant to eat our meals. The meals were delicious, our only complaint was that it was so cold in the restaurant that one of us had to wait outside with Tisoy while the other was eating. 

A stroll on deck

Tisoy slept soundly not through the night but better than usual, maybe the shaking of the waves put him to sleep.

The only action was caused by some diaper leakages and only 8 hours into our journey we had already gone through all 5 onesies we had prepared for this trip. (Lesson learned: Huggies is not the best match for us.)

We arrived in Cebu, and connected with the arrival is my only major complaint about the trip. In Manila the port is organized, easily accessible by Taxi and safe. 

Arriving in Cebu, we were left to ourselves (luckily there was at least a porter service so that we didn't have to carry all our luggage). We had to walk quite a far distance out of the Terminal and onto the access road, then compete for a taxi with the hundreds of other passengers while huge cargo trucks drove by right in front of our noses. It's anything but safe. In my opinion, the least one can expect from a major passenger port terminal is a taxi line in a safe area without the passengers risking of being run over by a truck.

In the end we arrived home safely.

Tisoy's First Fotoshoot

We took Tisoy to a baby photographer to have some nice newborn pictures taken.

The result: lots of pictures in 5 cute poses
The collateral damage:
- Photographer's props pooped onto
- Daddy's shirt peed and spit on
- Mommy's dress: pooped (conveniently the dress was white) and spit on
- and Daddy's bare hand pooped on.

And all that within 30 minutes. After he had emptied himself, he calmed down and we could begin the the actual shoot which he slept through peacefully.

Here is one of the results, as published on the photostudio's Facebook page.




Thanks to Edilbert of Baby Love Studio for the patience, calmness and the beautiful pictures. For anyone looking for a newborn photographer, I can highly recommend him.
Baby Love Studio
Baby Love Studio on Facebook

My birth experience: From unmedicated natural waterbirth to emergency c-section

I had a birth plan. I wanted a natural birth with as little intervention as possible. I was even aiming for a waterbirth. I wanted no IVs, intermittent fetal monitoring, no induction or enhancement, natural pain relief such as walking and changing positions, pushing when I feel the urge and my partner to be there to support me throughout the whole process. I prepared for weeks, I practiced breathing techniques, I visualized my perfect calm birth, watched hundreds of videos of natural births, I even tried hypnobirthing techniques and meditations. I discussed my birth plan with my OB and she was very much ok with it. I was so ready for my perfect calm, unmedicated natural birth and looking forward to welcoming Tisoy into this world.

Then I had my fetal anti-stress test, and it turned out the boy was stressed. Within minutes I was in the high risk labor room, hooked up to oxygen, a continuous fetal monitor, an IV and was not allowed to move, eat or drink. The complete opposite of what I had expected. To make things worse, the possibility of a c-section arose and my partner was still in Cebu. 

Hooked up to all these tubes I actually went into labor and to be honest I was devastated finding myself in that situation. Now I want to give big, big credit to my OB. She tried everything to make my birth possible as I had imagined it. She started to just observe and as much as possible kept the option of my desired waterbirth open: if Tisoy's heart rate remains stable, she would still be willing to go with it. For several hours I was still hopeful that I could have the natural birth I wanted.

However, it turned out that Tisoy did not even take the light contractions of early labor well. How much worse would he get if I start to have strong contractions in active labor? The risk to his health or even to his life was too high in the end, and he needed to get out via c-section as soon as possible. Again, I want to give big, big credit to my OB. Instead of getting Tisoy out immediately, she let us wait until my partner was here (meanwhile he was able to get on the next flight to Manila and was on his way). 

Soon after my partner arrived we discussed the situation and I was prepared for the surgery. My partner was allowed into the OP and even allowed to take pictures during the procedure. 

To be honest, I hated the c-section. While on the operating table, I told the team I cannot understand how anyone would choose to go through this instead of having a vaginal birth. 

In hindsight though, the c-section was the safest way for Tisoy to be born. It turned out he had a cord coil, and he may have been severely damaged or may not even have survived a vaginal birth. I now have a healthy and thriving little boy.

I want to say a big THANK YOU to Dra. Karen Ty-Torredes, my OB, Dra. Jocelyn Bondoc, Tisoy's pediatrician, and the whole team at St. Luke's Medical Center Global City for choosing what was best for Tisoy while at the same time trying to respect and follow my wishes and decisions as much as possible. Even though my birth was the complete opposite of what I had wanted for me and my baby, I felt I was part of the decision making process and together we came to the best solution for Tisoy. 

The rest of the hospital stay was also a very positive experience. Admittedly, I did not really enjoy it (who enjoys recovering from surgery?) but I felt well taken care of by the doctors, nurses, lactation nurse (she was a huge help in getting me started on breastfeeding), and all the other staff. Last but not least, even though for the first day I was only allowed liquids, and then a light, soft diet, the food was delicious (salmon and asparagus, anyone?). Even the broth of my first meal was yummy! 

St. Luke's was definitely the best choice for me to give birth at. I would go there again if I have another baby. 

[And for those who stumble upon this post on their research of prices at St. Luke's (I know I was very grateful of bloggers' posts when I was doing my research), the whole hospital stay, delivery, including doctors' fees, meds, and everything else, cost just below P170,000. Which surprised me because my research had shown that the cost for a c-section would be between P200-250k).]

Waiting for Tisoy - and his dad

The past weeks have been the longest 3+ weeks of my life. Yet, at the same time, I felt like being in a race, a race between my partner and my baby as to who gets here first. 

We had planned for my partner to arrive a week before the estimated due date since he had work and couldn't drop everything and be with me the whole time. When we made these plans we were positive that there is no way Tisoy will come out early based on the fact that most firstborns tend to be late rather than early (never trust a statistic unless you have forged it yourself). Even though we had agreed that my partner will come immediately if anything happens, in this case we still can't be sure if he would make it on time, given fully-booked flights and the usual hour-long delays. So we hoped that a week would give us ample time of not having to worry.

But then Tisoy decided that he's preparing for his arrival ahead of time. Already 6 weeks before his due date he was engaged (his head was really, really low). And my OB kept telling me at every check-up that he could come out any time, making the race more exciting. I tried everything to keep him inside, from resting and staying at home most of the time instead of going to salsa nights or for the walks around BGC, both of which I had been looking forward to so much, to daily visualizing my perfect birth which always started with the arrival of my partner.

At my standard ultrasound last week, all of a sudden Tisoy's heart rate dropped and stayed low for nearly 2 minutes. I was immediately confined to the high risk labor unit for observation and my ob explained to me that when the heart rate is below 60bpm for more than 2 minutes they get the baby immediately through an emergency c-section. Well, his heart rate had been below 60bpm for almost 2 minutes. Luckily he recovered and showed no further signs of distress. The ultrasound results also came out to be normal and after 3 hours I was discharged and sent home. However, this incident made the race even more nerve-wrecking.

Today, I was due for a follow-up anti-stress test. While there, I went into labor. Tisoy was determined to win the race.  Unfortunately he wasn't taking even the early contractions well. I called my partner to come immediately to Manila. The race started to intensify - will he make it before the baby?

In the end, it was a close win for daddy. He was able to be with me for the birth. I will write about my birth experience in my next post. For now all I say is: 

Welcome to the world, Tisoy!

June 28: Good bye Cebu, hello Manila

…or to be more precise "Hello Taguig City". For the last leg of my pregnancy, I moved to Metro Manila, where I will be staying until about 2 weeks after Tisoy is born, which will be roughly two months in total. One big argument for picking this condo is that it is only 10-15 minutes away from the hospital where I will be giving birth at.

I moved into a small but cute Condo in Taguig City, right outside Bonifacio Global City, with a view of the American Cemetery and SM Aura. My partner is with me over the weekend and will visit again next weekend, after that I'll be on my own until the beginning of August, a week before the expected due date. We hope and try to convince Tisoy to stay put until Papa is there!

Room with a view

So far I am enjoying it - I've been here only a few hours. But I already discovered a booth in Market, Market! that sells fresh milk, yoghurt, cream and buttermilk - I'm in dairy heaven! Especially buttermilk I've been craving since the beginning of my pregnancy. It has been the only recurring craving I've had and it could not be satisfied because it is not available in Cebu. So yay! This discovery made my day!

Next I discovered a booksale, and I stocked up. Since I'm on maternity leave already I'll have lots of time during the next few weeks and I want to spend some of it reading, next to doing yoga, going swimming, walking in the park and meeting up with my Manila-based friends.

I'm looking forward to the next few weeks, but I already miss my cats and will miss my partner endlessly once he gets back to Cebu.

Inside Chong Hua Hospital Delivery Department

It's a bit ironic, months ago I asked to tour the Chong Hua Delivery Department in order to get an impression of what to expect if I decide to give birth there. I was denied, about which I posted here.

Last week I was admitted to the labor room with preterm contractions, so I got to see the area after all. 

First: I'm fine, Tisoy is fine, contractions have stopped and I'm back at work (but taking it slow). 

So, now I have the chance to write about my impressions of their delivery department. 

For the first 5 hours, I was admitted to their regular labor room, after which I was transferred to the high-risk labor room. 

Before I say anything else, I want to say: the staff - doctors, nurses, interns, food deliverers, janitors, everybody - was very nice, caring, professional and competent in their respective jobs (at least as far as I can tell). I absolutely felt well cared for. 

However, when it comes to the labor room environment, I am glad that I decided to deliver in St. Luke's, for the following reasons (and I hope, Tisoy waits until I get there):

Privacy and comfort

I am a very private person, and when in discomfort or pain, I need my privacy. However, the labor room is a 10-bed ward (there is another 4-bed labor ward, as far as I could tell, but the big one seems to be the one mostly used). There is 1 restroom for the whole room, without shower. The beds are so close together that one can hear every single word that is said, if you want it or not (now I know when my neighbors last menstruated, what their family health history is and how far apart their contractions are - not that I would want to know). Even though the beds are separated with curtains, this doesn't help to increase privacy either, and they don't close completely.

Since it's a big room, of course a lot of personnel is going around to attend to the laboring women. Which means, that every 10 seconds or so someone passed by my bed.

Since it's a big room, there is not only lots of hustling and bustling but it is lit with glaring halogen lights and the beds are regular wooden beds. There is no soothing/calming atmosphere in the room whatsoever.

Pain management

As soon as you are admitted, you get an IV, whether you need it or not. As soon as you have an IV, you are not allowed to get up and walk around anymore (there isn't enough space to walk around anyways). Now, It's my first pregnancy and I don't have any experience but I have read and heard from several sources, that it is recommended to get up, walk around and take various positions to ease pain while in labor. All this is not possible, and all you can do (and what my neighbors did), was lie in bed and from time to time change from one side to the other or to the back and deal with the pain. The only pain management I could make out was that they offered epidural. But that was it. 

When it is time for delivery, you need to go to the delivery room. To get there, you will be put in a wheelchair and wheeled over. Again, I don't have any experience yet, but I can imagine it to be highly uncomfortable having to transfer to the delivery room sitting in a wheelchair when you are about to give birth.

Support persons

No outside persons are allowed in the labor room, not even the father-to-be. He can wait outside, in the hallway, on a row of chairs that resemble a waiting area in train stations. (As far as I know, the partner is allowed in the delivery room, if he gets an endorsement from the OB and sends a letter to the administration.)

In order to stay in touch with him, I wanted my cellphone. I was allowed to get it in the end but I had to write a letter stating for what reason I needed my cellphone and that I will not hold the staff liable in case of damage or loss.

After 5 hours or so, I was transferred to the high-risk labor room. This room has only two beds, the lights are dimmed and the doors can be closed so that is quieter, especially at night. The same rules for IV, getting up and support persons apply.

All in all, I am glad I made this experience (otherwise I would never have known whether it was the right choice to go to Manila or if I'm just hypersensitive and hysterical). But now I know, I made the right choice. 

If somebody has no problems being alone in a brightly lit, big room, with lots of strangers, Chong Hua Hospital is a good option to give birth in, and as I said, the personnel is highly professional and caring. I, however, felt uncomfortable and irritated in that environment.

Boracay Weekend Getaway - our last couple vacation

My partner and I got away for the weekend to Boracay, filled with island hopping, salsa dancing, sunbathing, swimming in the sea and pool, taking long walks along the beach, and doing each and everything as we pleased. Our long weekend passed way too fast, we had an amazing time! 

But at the same time, we were reflecting that this is the last vacation as a couple for many years to come. The following vacations will be family vacations, so we'll need to plan more, pack more, make sure our activities will first be baby-, then toddler- and then child-friendly. In the coming years we won't be able to dance the night away without anything but our own pleasure on our mind. We'll have to eat regularly (or at least feed the kid regularly), not when we feel like it. We won't go on a boat the whole day to go snorkeling together and forget about time and place while observing the underwater word. (I saw the biggest and most beautiful angelfish I've seen so far!). 

I'm excited already about my first vacation with Tisoy but I think I will miss the carelessness and independence of our couple vacations.

I have nothing to wear!

Pregnant or not, this is probably a typical statement of most women, no matter how full their closet is. Admittedly, my closet is very full but with my growing belly I have grown out of most of my clothes and can't wear them in the next couple of months. So I need clothes that grow with me. 

This post is about my pregnancy clothes shopping experiences here in the Philippines, the good and the bad. 

Being an average sized German, even without a baby belly, I am considerably taller than most Filipino women (and many men as well). Being taller, I am also wider, even if it doesn't show. So, buying certain clothes, like shorts and pants is always a challenge for me, pregnant or not.

I have grown out of my underwear, so a few weeks back I tried to hunt for bigger sizes. With very limited success. Since I will only be wearing the the pregnancy sized underwear for a limited time period, I don't want to buy expensive branded pieces, just cheap ones. The cheap ones though are made for the average Filipina with cup sizes rarely going beyond A and, what looks tiny to me, panties. I found two bras eventually but it was a several week long hunt. I am not looking forward to trying to find breastfeeding bras that fit me after Tisoy is born.

Same goes for panties. Happy to see cheap cotton panties size XL, I bought them right away without unpacking them and checking their actual size. At home I realized, they are even smaller than my German size M panties. Again no big ones to be found, at least no cheap ones. Out of desperation I ventured into the men's department, and now I am wearing size XXL boxer shorts. And yes, I even managed to buy boxer shorts that are waaaaay too small for me. 

There is one big, huge advantage though when it comes to clothes shopping during my pregnancy: I am living in a tropical country and it is summer time. Which means, the shops are full of cheap cute summer dresses made out of elastic materials that  grow with the belly. No need for specialized maternity clothes to keep me warm. So, this weekend I indulged into a dress shopping spree and bought 4 dresses to serve me until the end of my pregnancy. And since the material is elastic, I can wear them again next summer, no matter if I'll have a baby belly or not.

Ah, clothes shopping bliss, which was a nice contrast to my usual clothes shopping frustration!

Touring delivery departments of Hospitals: Part III: St. Luke's Medical Center Global City

I used my work related trip today to check out one of the hospitals in Manila. I have read raving blog posts about it, so I was quite excited to check it out. And I was not disappointed. 

When I entered, the lobby felt more like a luxury hotel lobby than a hospital. There was piano music playing and on my way out I realized that there actually was a pianist playing on a concert piano. Posh!

St. Luke's has actually two delivery departments which seem to be unrelated to each other. First I inquired at the concierge (again, luxury hotel comes to mind) about my wish to tour the departments. They were not surprised at all since they regularly seem to get such inquiries. 

First they asked me to go to the 8th floor where the birthing suites are located. A birthing suite is what would be a delivery room in Germany: it is one big room where you labor, deliver and recover. The cheapest and smallest room is what I would expect a standard size German delivery room to be (but since I have never given birth in Germany, I don't actually know). It is equipped with a kitchenette and a complete bathroom with shower, a sofa and La-Z Boy for the accompanying partner.

The next is similar to the first room but bigger.

The last is called the "deluxe suite". It is huge (bigger than most condo units in Manila), has a separate living room area and has a big birthing tub for water births. The prize of the room per night is equivalent to our monthly rent for our apartment. 

Then I proceeded to the second delivery area which is located on the third floor. A very nice, bubbly nurse guided me through the area and the "birthing process". When you come to the hospital in labor, you are first admitted to the admission area. There you are examined, the baby's heart rate is checked and it is decided if you are admitted, or sent home again. 

If you are admitted, you enter the labor room. St. Luke's has 9 private labor rooms (more like cubicles but they offer full privacy), 3 of which with a bathroom (I forgot to ask if they also have a shower). The other 6 use a common bathroom. The rooms are a lot smaller than the birthing suites but still have a huge flat screen TV and a La-Z Boy for the accompanying person. (They also have a labor ward for those who can't or do not want to afford the private labor rooms. The beds in the ward are separated by a curtain and the partner has no access to the ward.)

When it is time to give birth, you are wheeled into the actual delivery room. Once the baby is out, you are wheeled into the recovery area, where you recover for 2-3 hours until you proceed to your regular hospital room for your recovery stay (I was told on average 2-3 days for normal delivery and around 5 days for cesarian). Of which they also have various options, from a 4-bed ward, 2-bed semi-private, to regular private rooms of various sizes and luxury suites of various sizes (I did not take a look at them but the most expensive is the presidential suite that costs nearly Php60,000 per day). 

Both maternity areas promote the comfort of the laboring woman which includes encouraging the partner to stay with the woman for support and comfort (except in the labor ward). Both areas implement pain management with various options such as using hot and cold pads, walking around, taking a hot shower (of bath if you are in the birthing suite with the tub), or bouncing on the birthing ball (of course they also have pain medications and epidurals available). In both departments the partner can be with the laboring and delivering woman at all times.

Both areas have no restrictive policies regarding eating or drinking, labor, pain management and birthing positions. They leave this to the decision of the attending doctor and the woman. In fact, in both departments they seemed to find my questions about those restrictions odd (but I thought I'd ask twice after my experiences in Cebu). 

Both departments did not seem to be busy, so it was very calm and quiet everywhere. All three birthing suites were empty (and hosted extra beds, so it seemed they do not get used that often). Of the labor rooms on the third floor only 2 were in use, and the labor dorm was empty. I don't know, if this was coincidence or if it is always like this. 

Between all my asking of questions and remembering the answers, I forgot to take pictures but this mom-to-be last year did take pictures and it still looks pretty much the same. 

St. Lukes is a "mother-child-friendly" hospital so they don't have a newborn ward but all babies are roomed in. (Except for those who need special medical attention and are admitted to the newborn intensive care unit). The hospital also promotes exclusive breastfeeding and they have a lactation unit where the new mommy can get advice and help on breastfeeding (for free I believe). They also have a breast milk bank.

All in all, a very positive experience and I can well imagine giving birth there (and I most probably will).

Halfway there

Today I am 20 weeks pregnant - I'm halfway there - yay! While until last week I could still cover my growing tummy with wide clothes and I would look like I was just a bit chubby, my baby belly is now very obvious. 

We had our 2nd trimester ultrasound earlier this week. Tisoy is kicking, boxing and turning like crazy. It looked like he was dancing rock 'n' roll in there - including flips and tricks. It was almost impossible for the doc to examine him. What he did present first thing though - on a silver plate - were his privates.

 "Look at me, I'm a baby boy!!" 

Building a home for the family

I've been living in a shared house for the past two years. My partner had moved into my room after we found out that I was pregnant so that he could support me better. And I was so happy to have him close! I did not know what I would have done without him during the weeks of nausea, distress and frustrations in my first trimester. It was quite a crowded, temporary solution though in which we did not feel completely comfortable. 

So, 10 days ago, we moved into our own apartment. Well, it's still rented but it already feels like a home. We spent the past 10 days painting the walls, cleaning up and redoing some repair work and now we are almost done. 

We were lucky to find it after only a short search. It is an older building so it has spacious rooms (unlike the new buildings nowadays), a high ceiling and wooden floors. It's a 2-story building with only 2 parties, and we are on the upper floor. It has access to the front door directly from the parking space. Even though it is an apartment, it feels a bit like a house. Unfortunately we have no garden, but 3 huge trees in front of our living room window that serve as natural curtains. My personal highlight is the fact that it even has a water heater in the shower - so no more cold showers - yay!

The future nursery is still a storage room at the moment, but I'm looking forward to turning it into a beautiful, comfy room for Tisoy.

Touring delivery departments of hospitals - Part II. Cebu Doctors' University Hospital.

After our disappointing experience in Chong Hua, we immediately went to Cebu Doctors, which is almost across the street. 

Again we asked at the information desk. The lady was not sure if a tour was possible, and referred us to go directly to the delivery department on the 3rd floor and try to ask there. We went up there but the supervisor who can take that decision was not in. So they referred us to the administrators office. After a few minutes waiting at the administrators office we were directly lead to the Chairman of the Board and he totally understood our wish and assigned us a guide. 

We entered the delivery department, where two nurses accommodated us and answered all our questions. I was able to get a peak of the labor room and the nursery (but rooming in is also possible). 

My general impression was that the staff was very accommodating and ready to answer all my questions. When our guide talked to the nurses about our wish, she referred to us as "clients". Which in my opinion already shows their attitude to potential patients. 

Unfortunately they also cannot fully serve my needs (especially my most important need for privacy, since they don't have any private labor rooms, but a 4-bed room for labor which my partner is not allowed to enter (my second most important need is that I want him to be with me). But at least I felt welcome and accommodated there. 

Based on raving blog posts by mothers-to-be about St. Lukes in Manila, St. Lukes seems to be the best option for now (even without having visited the hospital, I am already informed about their possibilities and services - thanks to all those mothers-to-be who gave detailed information on their delivery department tours and birthing experiences). The only drawback is that I'd have to stay in Manila for about two months without my partner (since he cannot stay away from work for so long) and if Tisoy decides to come out early, my partner may also not be able to get to Manila in time to be with me during delivery.

Touring delivery departments in hospitals - Part I: Chong Hua Hospital

I am in the process of deciding on where to give birth. For now I have made up my mind on my needs - the ones that cannot be compromised and the ones I am willing to take back. In order to make an informed decision on which hospital I want to give birth in, I am touring (or trying to) the delivery departments and ask a lot of questions. Of course, I would like to deliver in Cebu as this is the place where I am living. But if my needs cannot be accommodated here, I am willing to go to Manila. 

So, the first hospital I visited was Chong Hua, since this is the hospital my Ob/Gyne is affiliated with. 

I had my pregnancy diabetes blood test yesterday, so after taking the glucose syrup I had an hour to spare before they would take my blood. I had hoped to use that hour to visit their delivery department since I was already there. We went to the information desk and ask about touring the delivery department. The first answer was "Not possible!" 

I insisted, clarifying that I am considering giving birth here and if I am not satisfied with their services I will go somewhere else. The lady opened up a little and asked us to come back the next day and talk to the administrator. Supposedly he would be in 8am-5pm. 

So this morning we went, arriving at around 8:20am. The administrator was not there, but we were informed that we would have to get a letter from my ob/gyne and then we may (or may not) be granted our wish. I clarified again about my wish to possibly deliver here, if my needs were met, but they did not accommodate me whatsoever. 

I was highly disappointed, that coming from a hospital that has "patient-focused care" in their mission statement and says about itself that they are "commended by the Department of Health for rendering excellent services and facilities at par with those of the most respected hospitals in the world". For me, world class service is something else. Sorry.

This lack of service to potential clients almost disqualifies them as my hospital of choice.

Just a side note: In my country (and many other countries in Europe, North America, and Asia (including Manila)) touring the delivery department of the hospital of choice is a standard procedure and often part of the birth preparation class. So if a hospital claims to be giving 'world-class services' this should be standard, not something that has to be requested in complicated procedures and then possibly denied.

Insomnia

For the past 2 months I've been following a pretty consistent sleep pattern: I fall asleep as early as 8:30 reading or listening to my partner's guitar play. And then I am wide awake at 2:00am. It takes until around 4:00 or 4:30 that I can finally get back to sleep.

This pattern makes me sleepy all day and I am struggling hard not to fall asleep at the office over my work. 

I've tried to break out of that pattern by going out and staying out late, but I'm falling asleep at the bar at 11:30 the latest. Apart from that I'm back to my old pattern the next night. 

According to my pregnancy book that has the answer to almost every pregnancy related question one may think of, insomnia during pregnancy is a function of the body to prepare the mother-to-be for the sleep deprivation during the first months with the baby. But seriously? Do I really need 7 months of insomnia for preparation? I'd rather prepare by having a good night's sleep now to wake up rested and energetic for once.

Last night I went to the movies with a couple of friends. Miraculously I did not fall asleep during the movie (my partner did that for me). I went to bed at around midnight - and was wide awake at 5am. This is when I came up with this post.

I hope you enjoyed a good night's sleep.

Baby TV

I opted to have a first-trimester screening since I'm not the youngest anymore, and (even though I try to relax) I'm still the German worrywart.

In my country the first trimester-screening consists of an integrated calculation of the mother's age, certain hormone levels and the nuchal translucency to determine a risk of chromosomal abnormalities (especially trisomy 21), which is expressed in a probability such as 1:375 and then discussed at length with your healthcare provider. (talk about German angst, hehe)

Here, only the nuchal translucency was measured. The feedback was "it's .18, so normal". Then we proceeded to watch the baby wiggle and giggle. Admittedly much more fun than discussing risks.

I decided to stop worrying and relax that everything will be alright - my ob/gyn is relaxed, why shouldn't I be? (At least I'll try to).

And now, may I introduce.....Tisoy:

My Snug-A-Hug

I went to Manila last Thursday on a work trip. While there I purchased my first pregnancy and baby-related item: a Snug-a-Hug maternity and nursing pillow that I had fallen in love with ever since I saw it on the internet. Proudly Filipino made. 

After washing the cover, I finally wanted to try it out last night. Unfortunately I never got to it. This is why:

I hope that I can re-claim it tonight to finally try it out.

My three best friends

I spent the past three weeks almost constantly feeling nauseated. Morning sickness? 24-hour-sickness would be a better word. These were my three best friends (aside from the caring father-to-be) for the past three weeks:

1. Gingerbons, 

1. Magic Flakes (and it had to be Magic Flakes, Skyflakes wouldn't do the trick) and 

1. an ominous green Chinese scented oil that my mom was once given on a boat by an elderly lady who felt sorry for her because she was incredibly seasick. This oil is the best! It beats efficascent oil, white flower oil, tiger balm or anything else by lengths. Unfortunately I have not yet been able to find it to replace it when it is empty so I'm allowing myself to only use it in the most necessary occasions.